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„If you’re not sure about your values, you’re a bad communicator“ - true or not?
In Coaching, we speak a lot about values. It is usually one of the first areas I go into with new clients. The key question when working with values is:
„What is truly important for you, in your life?“
It seems so simple, but after a few Coaching sessions on this topic, the results can be quite eye-opening. Part of the reason for this is that we haven’t really learned about our values in school or university, and we usually don’t put our decisions in life in relation to our values.
So, in Coaching, once you’ve learned that alignment with your values is probably the greatest factor towards a feeling of fulfillment in your life, your goals change. You begin putting your values first, and that can be very powerful. But how to communicate and share your values with others?
We see a lot of buzz on the word „purpose“, which I define to be a mission statement of an activity in the world which is rooted in your values. So the term „Purpose Economy“ in itself feels a bit empty, since essentially, all of our actions have a purpose (otherwise we would not do them). What the term, of course, implies is that in many instances, business-centric actions do not have a purpose. But they do! Part of the reason why, especially in corporate settings, it does not feel that way is that the underlying values are unconscious, fixed and therefore feel sort of un-negotiable.
A business is about making money, right?
Now, what Coaching does in various ways is taking a flashlight and a map and looking at areas of your life that you usually don’t shine too much light on. It’s a bit like working with a fitness trainer believing that you are already pretty fit. You end up with sore muscles in parts of your body where you did not believe you had muscles in the first place.
The answers that come up in Coaching tend to go from a superficial level, towards deeply essential stuff, which, to stay with the business example, interestingly, almost never have to do anything with money. Money can represent safety, power or freedom in your life, but as money can (and will) eventually fail in providing these values in the long run, I would advise you to not take any unnecessary shortcuts - directly aim for the essential values, not the ones that can be replaced with others.
So, you see, things will get personal, emotional and also sometimes surprisingly complex - or surprisingly simple for that matter. It’s a process which will take you somewhere unfamiliar, so you better come with *drumroll *
A Map
Once we have switched on the proverbial flashlight towards our values, we should come with a map to help navigate us through this world. And while the map is surely not the territory, it can tremendously help us in making sense of news things we discover and to put them in relation to what we already know, think and feel.
There are some helpful maps for individual value development, but as our goal today is to help you better communicate your values, I’d suggest we look at a map of collective values.
Spiral Dynamics
Spiral Dynamics was developed by American Psychologist Clare W. Graves (1914-1986), who, interestingly, was a contemporary of Abraham Maslow, whose hierarchy of needs you are probably familiar with.
Maslow’s pyramid, in contrast to Graves’ work, is focussed on the relatively steady area of our human needs. And in itself, the hierarchy of needs is very much still valid today, moving from its bottom of „Physiological Needs“ to „Self-actualization“ at the top.
Graves, however, had a slightly different focus. He was interested in the development of human values, especially in relationship to their development over time. Unlike Maslow’s pyramid, the value systems Graves discovered were not static but kept evolving.
The question that led Graves in his extensive studies (and later Don Beck and Chris Cowan who took over his work after Graves’ death), was this question:
„What is a healthy adult life all about?“
The answers they would discover from participants in these various studies could be grouped into a set of clusters, or value systems (distractingly called vMemes by Beck/Cowan), which form the basis of what would be called „Spiral Dynamics“ later on.
The continuation of Graves’ work after the 1990s, unfortunately, happened to be quite conflict-ridden, resulting in the forking of this system in two separate strains of research, which muddled and partly obstructed the overarching simplicity and depth of Graves’ work. Therefore, for everyone interested in taking a deeper dive, I usually recommend reading the introduction of Frederic Laloux’s book „Reinventing Organizations“ instead of taking on the original „Spiral Dynamics“ book, which today feels a rather complicated and outdated.
Criticism
Before we get into the actual value systems, let me quickly address a source of criticism that I have encountered from time to time.
Even though the spiral does not have an endpoint / goal (it just keeps evolving over time) I have been asked quite a few times: „So, are you saying that people are better humans if they are on top of the spiral?”, to which I usually respond that, no, all humans are equally valuable, but everybody holds different values, which can be put into a developmental scale.
I cannot recall who has said this, but values, over time, tend to evolve towards a higher circle of care. As collective values develop in humanity, we tend to move up the spiral in concentric circles outward of ourselves. Something in the likes of:
Individual -> Family -> Community -> Country -> World
Sure, we are all unique in our values and, again, every human being is equally valuable. But when I focus on the topic of values, it can be quite helpful to put a qualifier on certain aspects, as they tend to evolve in a certain direction - and only rarely backwards.
It was important for Clare Graves to state that values are not something that can be individually created or artificially generated. They are, essentially, a product of the circumstances of our lives. So if our life’s circumstances change, our value systems may change as well, so there are no „wrong“ values. Values are essentially an answer to what we have learned and believe to be right, therefore they are, in itself, valuable. However, what we will see in Spiral Dynamics, there are healthy and unhealthy expression of these values.
Spiral Dynamics Value Systems (vMemes)
The spiral moves through a set of value systems in the so-called first Tier, and a jump into the so-called second Tier. Here are a few illustrations that take you through the value systems in the first tier (up until Green) and over to Yellow, Turquoise and beyond.


(Images via Don Beck /www.thenextevolution.com)
The memes alternate between group- and ego-centric, and you see a historically aligned movement from archaic to tribal to modernistic and post-modernistic. Anyone familiar with developmental models should feel right at home here. If you do not, let me highlight some key points:
The 1st tier value systems usually exist as an answer to the „unhealthy” side of the value system that came before. Take tribal leaders (Red) who had to be pacified by the structures of the blue system. Have you been to the Bürgeramt lately? We’re all equal before the Bürgeramt, it operates on Blue structures, as many government or church bodies.
Today, the most dominant value system is Orange/Green, with its hypergrowth startups, real estate world, medicinal and technical evolution and wellness movement.
The second tier is, according to Graves, a „momentous leap in consciousness“, because it is able, in form of the Yellow, to perceive all previous value systems as equally important and valuable. This is where the „integral“ comes from, the Yellow is actually able to integrate (and prioritize) value systems that were once positioned against each other.
The green value system is a difficult beast we all have to conquer in some shape or form. Transcending the Green is what I believe to be at the core of many of our global challenges right now.
Green
A few words on Green: Born in the counter-cultural movement of the 1960s, Green was and is truly hard to criticize. However, and this is between you and me here, the Green value system tends to have a two-face mode. „We’re all a community, except those others who don’t believe in the same things as us“. Essentially, a form of not-fully-expressed pseudo-tolerance paired with the ultimate flattening and equalizing of values.
And, as all parents who have kids in a green-dominant Kindergarten know, Green is a fan of endless, unstructured discussions. And yes, there’s a fair amount of unexpressed hate as well, hence Green’s intensive, usually subconscious relationship with the Red.
Yellow
Yellow, sometimes also called Integral, or Systemic, is what truly feels important to move towards today. The integration of the positive / healthy aspects of the other value systems, and the effortless move between them, seems like the answer to many of today’s issues in the world. The key question is: How can the Yellow become collectively more important? (For more, make sure check out the Youtube clip below).
There are books to write on this - as you surely have realized if you’ve managed to read this far. I will not go into each value system in more detail today. I assume you will find your way if you wish to find out more.
But beware: Researching Spiral Dynamics on the Internet can be quite confusing, so better begin your journey by reading this book.
What’s in it for me?
You are on your toes now to discover how you can use this tool to communicate your own values, maybe in a company or team setting, or maybe for crafting a personal mission statement for your LinkedIn page?
Here are a few points to keep in mind:
Humility. If you are familiar with non-violent communication or similar approaches, you might already do this, but the first step is always to assume that other people have different values than you, and this should be okay with you. So don’t speak about your values like they are fundamentally true, as they are only true for you.
Inside to outside. Begin by stating something very personal, what’s truly important to you, and then move in concentric circles to the outside, ultimately towards what you believe is important for the world.
Separate values from purpose. Remember, purpose is „a mission statement of an activity in the world which is rooted in your values“, so design your purpose message as a flower growing in the soil of your values. You might be working on growing this particular flower, but there are other potential flowers that could come out, too.
The WHY is overrated. Hi Simon Sinek, I do believe that an emphasis on the WHY, especially in the Orange context, can be of tremendous importance in our times. However, in our individual statements, we should feel free to assume that these values are „just there“. We don’t need to express why we hold these values, the values already ARE the why.
Create points of mutuality. Design your statement in a way that other people can relate to you. Use cue points from the Spiral Dynamics systems to do so.
Be aware of the system you’re working in. Look through the Spiral Dynamic value maps, and consider what your purpose looks like from the outside. Maybe this is irrelevant to you, but if you aim to start a revolution, see what you’re working with around you. Here’s a 5 minute sequence of Ken Wilber (yeah, he had to appear here at some point) speaking about this exact issue:
Final Words
I hope this brief journey into Spiral Dynamics has been inspiring and not too confusing. As I’ve seen many times, especially in talks or workshop situations, this system takes some time to digest, and I have to say that, even after more than ten years, I discover new facets every time I work with it.
What’s beautiful?
In these times of constant, almost overwhelming news, there’s one thing I can recommend from the heart: Read books, physical books. Especially in the evenings, don’t let Twitter or Instagram lure you in - begin reading a book an hour before bedtime, no smartphones in the bedroom, and your sleep quality will improve dramatically.
I came across this book accidentally a few weeks ago, actually my first time since COVID that I have been to a real book store. So please, keep your local bookstores alive and read physical books!
Today’s book: “The Indispensable Composers” by Anthony Tommasini.

If you’re interested in reading a longer review of the book, please check out this NY Times article.
What the book will hopefully fascinate you about is, of course, also a highly recommendable activity, listening to beautiful music, undistracted, no headphones.
Karajan’s orchestra recordings are always a good start, check out what Sir Simon Rattle has to say about him:
Thank you for reading this week’s edition of “Everything You Encounter Is Your Life”. I hope it was as much fun to read as it was to write ;)
As always, feel free reach out with your feedback or comments.
Thank you!
Fabian